I have a hard time saying no to anyone. I never really thought about it much when I was younger. I always saw myself as a nice person who tried to always be helpful. As I got older though, my inability to say no became a problem. People at work were always slipping me their assignments. I’d never tell my husband he had to pick the kids up because I had plans. I was always asked to cook something for every church bazaar. The list goes on and on. The problem became that people started asking me to do too much, leaving me no room in my life for what I wanted to accomplish. My resentment began to grow and this led to anxiety.
Learning to express feelings when you’re used to being compliant can be tough to do. I had to learn how to be assertive and say no to people when that’s what I really wanted to say.
The first few times I practiced my assertiveness training I didn’t do so well. I ended up changing my initial “no” response to a “yes”. But eventually I learned to say no and mean no. I have to tell you it was a liberating experience that quickly lowered the anxiety level in my life.